For me, Tom North’s book was a “page turner.” Once I started it, I couldn’t put it down.
I saw the movie when it was released in 1968 and parts of it when it was shown on late night TV. It is one of those movies that leaves you with the “warm fuzzies” wondering why you didn’t have a family like that. It was obvious that a great deal of it was fiction, but you wanted it to be true.
It was not a surprise to learn that it was not all true—not even close. Tom North’s story is very similar to the stories of the foster children who have survived physical and sexual abuse in foster home after foster home and grew up to lead productive lives, writing about their survival in an attempt to help other children survive the foster care system. Some don’t survive and all don’t thrive.
But the Beardsley and North children grew up in an abusive home and had to put on the happy faces of the children in “Yours, Mine and Ours.” And their abuse came from either their dad or their stepdad and a mother who looked the other way. It made me wonder: Where is abuse more damaging—from the hands of your own parents or from people you are assigned to? Hearing that you are “no good” and “will never amount to anything” coming from a stranger isn’t nearly as powerful and damaging as the same words coming from your Mom or Dad. Tom heard this on a regular basis as he was growing up.
Tom’s story is one of struggle, survival and thriving. It reminds me of the story of a butterfly. The caterpillar is Tom Beardsley; Transcendental Meditation is the cocoon; and Tom North emerges beautiful and able to fly. Excuse me if that is too trite or cliché.
For me it is an important book. It is another reminder that things are not always what they seem and that there are thousands of children who are in similar situations who need help. It also reminds me that there is help and, finding that help, healing is possible. Tom found that help in TM.
Who should read this book? Every parent and step parent, every social worker in state agencies that work with children, every teacher, and anyone who has seen the movie, “Yours, Mine and Ours”. It should be read by anyone who has been abused and is still seeking help with the healing process. And it should be read by those who think meditation is a passive exercise with no tangible results.
- Dr. Irene Conlan, The Self Improvement Blog