The “Light Poem” – I Invite You to Share This Special Gift
For those of you who have a True North bookmark, you will know the “Light Poem”, which is on the back of the bookmark.
For those who may not know it, here it is:
Within each of us, there is a light
A light that shines eternal
It is the light of the rising Sun
It is the light of the full moonTrueNorthBookmark
It is the light of the stars
In the darkest night
It is the light in a mother’s eyes
Gleaming at her newborn
It is the light between lovers
As they embrace
It is the light in the path of souls
On their journey to the other side
It is the light of Love
It is the light of Being
It is the light of God
See the light
Be the light
Shine the light
For all to see.
I share this with you because this “Light Poem” seems to have more applications than I was aware of.
As a volunteer at the Breakthrough Men’s Community, I spend every Wednesday evening helping men work through the issues that have caused their lives to be less than fulfilling. Recently, one of the men approached me at the end of the evening and asked to buy a copy of my book, True North, The Shocking Truth about Yours, Mine and Ours. I went out to my car and brought back a copy which included the bookmark that comes with every book.
My friend shared that he went out to his car, sat down and read the “Light Poem” that is on the bookmark, and immediately called the home of his sister who was dying. When her husband answered the phone, my friend asked how she was doing. Her husband’s response was, “She’s still comatose, and her breathing is labored.” My friend asked the husband to put the phone up to her ear. “But she is in a coma,” the husband responded. “Please, just do it.” My friend insisted.
The husband did as requested. As he held the phone to her ear, my friend read the “Light Poem” to her. As he read the stanza, “It is the light in the path of souls, On their journey to the other side,” his sister took a deep breath, and passed away.
It seemed that hearing the poem gave her permission to follow the light. No one could have known this would happen, but what a glorious event! Looking back, it makes so much sense to me. We are beings of light! We come into this world out of the light and we return to the light. We are not just our physical bodies, but we inhabit them during our journey here on Earth. We are the life force, the light that animates them.
I remember the day I received the “Light Poem”. I was at an Ayurveda Retreat, and had just received a wonderful rejuvenation treatment. While resting afterwards, I began a meditation. Anyone who has a mediation practice will know that it is common for creative ideas and inspirations to come in those quiet, subtle moments as we settle down from the more active thought process into more abstract, deeper levels of the self. It was as though someone had opened a scroll with the “Light Poem” written on it and held it in front of me to read. It appeared all at once.
These inspirations and creative ideas often leave as quickly as they arrive with not a trace remaining after the mediation. I have often had the thought, “I know there was something important that came to me, but I can’t remember what it was.” But in this instance, when I finished my meditation, the “Light Poem” was indelibly etched into my awareness. I quickly got up and found a pen and paper and wrote it down. I think of the poem as a gift that came through me to share with humanity.
I am grateful to have participated in some small way assisting in the passing of my Breakthrough Brother’s sister. I believe that two of the most important events in our lives are when we are born and when we leave this physical plane and return to the light from where we came. I invite you to share this special gift.
See the Light, Be the Light, Shine the Light for all to see!
Blessings to You,
Tom North
THE SAD TRUTH – For Many, Father’s Day Means Coming to Terms with Feelings of Guilt and Shame
My father, Richard North, died in a Navy jet test flight crash when I was six years old. He was my hero. Fifteen months after his death, my mother, Helen North who had eight children, re-married a man named Frank Beardsley who had ten, making us one of the largest families in the country. We became famous, and our story was featured in the movie, “Yours, Mine and Ours”. But it wasn’t one big happy family. We had to hide the fact that we were living a lie.
I was seldom comfortable around Frank Beardsley and never thought of him as my father even though I was required to address him as such or be punished. The Frank Beardsley I lived with was not the same man that Henry Fonda portrayed in the film. The movie character was kind, wise, rational and understanding. He was someone I could have willingly honored on Father’s Day! But the real Frank Beardsley was everything the fictional one was not. His violence and abuse created a life of intimidation, turmoil, fear and depression for me and my siblings.
On what might have been a wonderful day of celebration, I was filled with rage at the unfairness being forced to pay tribute to a man who was, in my mind, the opposite of everything that Father’s Day stood for. This dilemma presented difficult questions that, at the time, I had no answers to: “Why are we smiling at this man who terrorizes us every day? Why did my mother marry this man and take her children into a dangerous environment? Why don’t the adults in my family do something to get rid of this evil man?” My mother protected the image of the perfect family at all costs. She made efforts to reinforce her public image of him on Father’s Day by encouraging the children to write cards for him, but I don’t recall ever having participated. I felt guilty and ashamed.
Unfortunately, in households which are plagued with violence and abuse, too many children are faced with the additional burden of guilt and shame by the expectation to respect and honor a man on Father’s Day who is loathed and feared.
It seems I’ve been trying to come terms with this matter most of my life. As I write near the end of my book, during the last of the family therapy sessions, after his moment of apology when Frank admitted that he was guilty and had indeed abused his children, I realized I had to forgive him – not so much for his sake, but for my own healing and survival. I’ve found that this healing process never ends.
There is hope. Recently, I spoke at a Rotary Club meeting where many of the male members told me that they’d had a similar experience and how they made a conscious decision to break the cycle of violence and abuse with their own children. Not long ago, a reader sent me a message that said, “Thank you for writing your book. I now have a better understanding of my relationship with my own father”.
I am proud to be a father and I am honored and humbled to be loved by my children and my wife. Even though I learned how to create a positive and healthy environment for my family and children, Father’s Day is a day of enormous contrast for me. I can’t help but think of the pain and suffering I lived through and remember that along with child abuse survivors like me, there are families and children who are faced with similar, dreadful circumstances every day.
I’m grateful that my true story of survival and hope is touching many, and inspiring them to follow their healing path as they come to terms with their feelings of guilt and shame that surround their relationship with their fathers.
Here are some resources to help:
Breakthrough for Men
Learn How to Meditate
National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse
Tom North is an Official Supporter of National CASA Voices for Children
Tom North, author of True North – The Shocking Truth about “Yours, Mine and Ours”, is an official supporter of National CASA Voices for Children. Tom North remarks, “I am proud to be supporting this organization and I encourage all readers and followers to make a difference in the lives of abused and neglected children. Only by working together will we reach our goal of serving every child who needs a CASA volunteer. Thank you for standing up for abused children!”
Give the Light of Hope to a Child.®
With every purchase of True North – The Shocking Truth about “Yours, Mine and Ours” from this webpage, True North Productions will donate 10% of the retail price to the National Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) Association.
Tom North’s Story of Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse is Featured in the Monterey County Herald
Tom North’s story of growing up in the family made famous in the movie, “Yours, Mine and Ours” starring Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda is in the Monterey County Herald. The article titled, “‘Yours, Mine and Ours’ child shares a darker version of his all-American family”, was written by Herald Staff Writer, Dennis Taylor.
Tom North is the author of ”True North – The Shocking Truth about “Yours, Mine and Ours”. North tells what it was really like growing up in the household that was wracked with child abuse, sexual abuse and domestic violence. ”Writing ‘True North’ was a cathartic experience, inspired in part by an agreement among several family members (including his mother) to never again support the lie that was ‘Yours, Mine and Ours.’”
North is dedicated to raising awareness about child abuse and domestic violence. He explains, “Denial, looking the other way and covering up abuse contributes to this blight on society. The fact is that five children die from child abuse and neglect every day in the U.S. It has to stop. There is help and hope, even for those who are living in denial.”