On Father’s Day, I Honor the Memory of my Father, Richard North.
June 15, 2013
As I relate in my book, unfortunately, my father was killed when I was just six years old. When he died, I lost my anchor and I drifted in a netherworld for years. Still, he was a wonderful, positive role model and I got to know him, at least a little.
He was a demi-god to me, my True North, and taught me much about how I would relate to the world in later years. I credit him with my value system, a mischievous sense of humor and love of nature and adventure – important characteristics I needed to later deal with a dramatically different, violently abusive, new stepfather!
Fortunately I have been able to regain my footing and live a happy life. As the father of two grown women, ages 26 and 23, my reflections on Father’s Day automatically bring a smile to my face. I think of the moment of my daughters’ births. I remember reveling in the magic of watching them grow as human beings and sharing in their wonder as they learned about the world, vicariously living a childhood again through their perspectives. I am gratified when I talk to them on the phone and I hear the smile in their voice, happy to be talking to their father. I am proud to be their dad and to know they feel they were raised with love, respect and caring support.
I can’t help but wonder what my life would have been like if my dad had lived. I wonder what he would think of me as a father, and I imagine how he would have been a wonderful grandfather to my own children.
I also think about families and children celebrating Father’s Day, and what meaning this may have in families riddled with violence from abusive fathers. Of course, no family is perfect, but I suspect that the expectation to respect and honor a parent who doesn’t deserve it, brings added feelings of guilt and shame.
I am gratified that advance readers are coming forward and letting me know that my inspirational true story of survival and hope has made a positive difference in their lives and opened a path to understanding and healing:
“Thank you for writing True North, The Shocking Truth about ‘Yours, Mine and Ours’. Your book has helped me to better understand my relationship with my father and develop a new perspective around that relationship. This is extremely valuable to me. Thank You!”
– Dan Buffo, MBA, Hands-on Energy Healer
Happy Father’s Day